Kiriban!
by may10baby
Summary: A collection of stories for the winners of my review contests. Contains mulitiple pairings, mainly SasuNaru.
1. Mayday 200th Review

May: Here's the one-shot promised to the winner of Mayday!'s first Kiriban at 200 reviews; SassyOMG2282! The next winner in Mayday!, shall be the 365th reviewer! Enjoy this 'fluffy SasuNaru' one-shot! Sorry, no lemons! –runs away, turns back around and hollers- I gave you hints though!

Lol, I'm pretty sure Sakura's birthday is in April or something…ah, well, who cares?

Set in the manga setting, my imagination stating that Sasuke has returned and is humping Naruto every chance he gets! XD, me and my dirty mind…

But my friend Animesummoner's birthday is on Feb. 25! XD I wanna spoil her soo… bad!

Note: Also contains GaaLee and KakaIru hints

* * *

"Come on, Sasuke!"

"No!"

"Please? I want us to go as a couple for Sakura-chan's birthday!" Naruto whined, giving Sasuke his Puppy Dog Look.

Sasuke's gaze immediately flew to the floor. Even the Sharingan couldn't counter that eye technique. "No…" he managed, twitching when Naruto yanked on his arm.

"But you have to dress up! Do it for Sakura-chan!" Naruto tugged on Sasuke's arm, trying to pull the brunette into the costume store.

"Hell no." Sasuke replied, keeping his feet planted with chakra.

"Please! I already chose the costume! At least try it on!" Naruto tugged on Sasuke's arm again. "Sasuke! I'll stay over at Iruka-sensei's house if you don't!" he warned.

Sasuke winced '_Shit!_'

Naruto at Iruka's ment no blonde foxy ass screwing for an extended period of time, considering the fact Iruka still believed that Naruto was a virgin (even though the rest of Konoha knew otherwise since the 'Public Bath Incident') and Sasuke silently prayed that it stayed that way. He had a Jack the Ripper style Iruka haunting his dreams and stealing his manhood whenever he didn't get his daily recommended amount of Vitamin BA (Blonde Ass).

"…I refuse, Kami knows what you picked out!" Sasuke shuddered at the thought of the two of them in over-sized bunny outfits or something. That would look adorable on Naruto, but the Uchiha wasn't going to let his pride take a nosedive _that_ steep, not to mention the outfit would be hard as hell to strip Naruto out of, especially when he struggled, but that made things funner anyways…Bad thoughts!

"Sasuke, I promise! You'll love the outfits!" Naruto stated, giving Sasuke his best pout.

Sasuke flinched looking away '_Don't look at his face, it could kill you!_' he thought frantically, stiffening when Naruto grabbed the waist of his pants yanked their crotches together. "What the-dobe?!" he turned to stare at the blonde in shock, Naruto smiled slyly.

"Sasuke♥, please, I'm _begging_ you, just come in and take a little looksie, okay? And if you don't like it, then we'll go home and I'll make it up to you, anyway you want me to…" Naruto purred, rubbing their crotches together, a soft moan leaving both their lips.

Sasuke bit his lip '_Damn it! Think pride! Think pride! You could screw Naruto anytime! Then again, when he participates willingly, things get even hotter…No! Bad Sasuke!_' "N-No…" he managed weakly.

Naruto frowned '_Damn it! That always works! Always!...What was the last option Sakura-chan gave me..? Oh yeah!_' he pushed himself away from a confused Sasuke.

"Narut-"

"Well, I understand if you don't care from me _tha_t much, even though I give you _so_ much! Fine, I'll just grab _Sai_ and we-" Naruto smirked when Sasuke immediately snatched his hand up and more or less dragged him into the store. '_Checkmutt!...No…ah! Checkmate! That's it!_'

Sasuke glanced around at the wares of the costume store, mentally shuddering. '_Would Sai even come here_?' he glanced around, noticing that the store had a make-up supply as well '_Nevermind…he probably runs this place…_'

He blinked when Naruto tugged him up to the counter.

"One set of costumes reserved under Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto chirped cheerfully, hugging Sasuke's arm to his chest.

"Ah! Yes, Naruto-kun…" the shopkeeper smiled, fake brown cats ears and a matching tail on her body, her brown eyes glittering when she imagined the two teens in front of her dressed up in their…attire. She giggled evilly in her mind "Please! Go to Dressing Room 7, your costumes are on the rack!" she gestured towards the room, leading them there while flipping back her hair unconsciously "If you need any help, I'll be glad to assist you in anyway!" she giggled, ushering the boys into the room before closing it.

Sasuke could've sworn he heard the lock click shut.

"Sasuke! Look! _Look_! Hey, Bastard, _look_!" Sasuke turned slowly, bracing himself for whatever cuddly outfit Naruto had chosen in store. He stared at the costume the blonde had pressed against that delectable tan body. Sasuke gaped, imagining the blonde dressed in _that_, the thought made his jaw drop so far it clattered to the ground.

"Am I going to be wearing something like that?" he asked weakly, eyes still fixed to the fabric Naruto slid his slim body against.

"…Sorta."

* * *

"Sakura! Happy Birthday, Billboard Brow!" Ino giggled, dressed up in a Japanese school girl outfit. She slung an arm around the pink-haired girl's shoulders.

"Thanks!" Sakura replied, dressed up in a criss-crossing long piece of red cloth that she planned to use to land a guy, the cloth covering the 'important parts', considering Sasuke had openly announced his feelings to Naruto (causing Naruto to pass out in the process), and Lee had been snatched away by a certain red-haired Sand Ninja/Kazekage. She glanced over to the door when it rang. "Ah, wait a sec, Ino." She trotted over to the door and opened it.

"Hi, Sakura-chan!"

"…" less than a second later Sakura was sprinted to the bathroom with a severe nosebleed. Good thing she was wearing red!

Ino turned and stared the pair standing in the doorway, and stared, and stared, and stared some more…before; "OMIGOD!" she squealed, morphing quickly and smoothly into her yaoi-fangirl format. "You two..!"

Naruto just laughed, strutting in while tugging a reluctant Sasuke behind them. The blonde's costume theme had to be something along the lines of 'Naughty Angel' or something because Ino sure as hell knew that no angel dressed like _that_ up in heaven and called themselves 'pure'.

Naruto's outfit consisted of a piece of ripped white fabric barely covering his upper torso, the rest of it shamefully shone to all those who wanted to stare (and many did), the shorts, if they could be called that, also white, hung low on his hips and ended shorted after the hips themselves did. White sandals adorned his feet with white lace straps criss-crossing their way up to his knees. White fingerless gloves that stretched up to his elbows covered his forearms and to top it off, a small set of angel wings and a mini-halo were set in their respective places.

"Dobe, I swear, Sakura's probably dying in that bathroom…" Sasuke muttered, slightly embarrassed at his own attire. Ino stared lustily at him, suddenly hungry for some top-grade Uchiha Ass. Old habits die hard, especially when Sasuke-kun decided to dress _that_ sexy.

The brunette had a full, tight, sleeveless, black muscle shirt on, however, one long rip made it down the center of the shirt to his bellybutton with barely any fabric underneath that. He had on tight, red, ass-defining shorts on that barely reached his mid-thighs with a red belt that covered a majority of the clothing article, but that let the poor fangirl leering as the surprisingly slim, smooth and pale legs the boy had. Ankle-high leather boots with a zipper running down the inside covered his feet. Black gloves with fishnet ran up his arms to his mid-upper arms. Two red devil's horns poked out of his hair, and Ino would have sworn that the brunette's 'tail' was really a whip.

"Oh my…" Ino paid no attention as a nearby girl fainted.

"You two, are fabulous!" she squealed, running up to hug the pair.

"Thanks, Ino!" Naruto giggled "Sasuke didn't even wanna look at the costumes! Good thing I used the whole jealousy run." He blinked when Sasuke's arm wound it's way around his waist.

"It's called possessive, you're mine." The Uchiha stated simply, smirking down at his Uke, planning on keeping a hand on him during and after the party. They both glanced up as Sakura wobbled over to them.

"Y…you two…" she stated shakily, weak from blood loss "M…My God…"

Sasuke smirked, his hand automatically going down and squeezing some of that prime ass to appease their fans.

Naruto jumped, blushing.

Sakura and Ino died from Yaoi Overdose.

And Sasuke began to drag his little 'Angel' up the stairs.

"Sasuke! We just got here?" Naruto stuttered, knowing quite well what was coming.

"So? We already know where Sakura's spare bedrooms are, sweetie, it's just matter of grabbing the one with the shower." Sasuke smirked at the blushing blonde.

"Ah…lube?" Naruto tried

"Surprisingly you can slide a lot of things down these pants." Sasuke grinned when Naruto squeaked in embarrassment.

"Pervert!" Naruto squealed when Sasuke opened the door to one of Sakura's spare rooms.

"Uhuh…" Sasuke smirked, latching onto those pouty lips.

"…Do you mind? We were here first." A voice stated monotonously.

Sasuke broke the entirely too short lip lock and glared at…Gaara, currently dressed up as a raccoon, typical. He lifted a brow when he saw Lee underneath him, as a squirell, blushing as red as his boyfriend's hair.

Naruto eeped, pushing Sasuke out the door while spilling out apologies as he slammed the door shut.

"…Let's continue…" Gaara stated in a somehow emotionlessly, yet extremely sexy voice. Lee blushed

* * *

Sasuke shoved Naruto into the next room, pleased to see nobody using it. He smirked as he pressed his lips onto Naruto's again, his smirk growing when Naruto's arms wrapped themselves around his neck.

"Mmm…" Naruto moaned, opening his mouth and letting Sasuke's mouth in while the Uchiha's hands creeped slowly down to that small fabric covering Naruto's sacred place.

"What. The. Fuck." A voice ground out.

Sasuke blinked, his eyes snapping out to see Naruto's own terrified blue, he spun around, Naruto still in his arms as he saw _Iruka_ standing in the doorway…dressed in a giant fishsuit.

"Ah…" Sasuke's mind was blank, brief flashes of his soon-to-be-death flooded his unfortunate mind.

Kakashi, who'd mostly been there the entire time, fearing for his students safety, in more ways then one, grabbed a still shock recovering Iruka and tossed something small at Sasuke. The man was dressed in a straw hat and an overly bulging pants and shirt. The Uchiha caught it and sweatdropped.

"A condom?" he questioned.

"For safety!" Kakashi chirped, dragging a still stunned/pissed Iruka outside.

Only then did the chunin explode.

"UCHIHA _SASUKE_! I'M GOING TO _CASTRATE_ THAT PERVERTED ASS OR YOURS, AND FEED IT TO KAKASHI'S DOGS!" Iruka roared, only to have a hand slapped over his mouth.

"Now, Now, Iru-chan, let's go find somewhere else to play." Kakashi smiled, half-dragging, half-carrying, his lover to another room, smiling when no one was there. '_Ah, good thing I brought plenty of spare condoms!_'

Sasuke watched them leave before grinning lethally at Naruto who eeped. "Enough distractions, let fuck."

Naruto barely had enough time to cried out as Sasuke tackled him onto the bed, clawing at his clothes in a 'your ass is so mine' way.

Hmm…maybe next time he should choose something more cuddly?

…

Ah, but Sasuke wouldn't like that though, would he?

* * *

May: Rofl, poor Sasuke! Walking in on someone them being walked in on. Karma! XD Review please! Hope you like Sassy! 


	2. Mayday 365th Review

May: Here's a one-shot for my anonymous reviewer for mayday who got my 365th review! Said reviewer shall remained unnamed…cause I'm too lazy to go digging through those reviews…-sweatdrop- this fanfic also goes to another fan of mine whose birthday shares my birthday of May 10th! Clap everyone!

This shall be ItaKyuu (with lemon pie) with hints of SasuNaru, lolz.

And if you don't like older gym teacher Itachi being harassed by younger student Kyuubi to the put of butt smex (and thus you are a deprived child) then leave.

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, or I'd be rich and then lose all my money when people put lawsuits against me because their daughters (and sons) dies of nasal blood loss. The End.

* * *

"Pick it up, you losers." Itachi stately monotonously, yet at the same time commanding his current class to high-tail it on the track field.

The Uchiha watched in satisfaction as his students sped up slightly. He unconsciously replaced his standard issue whistle back into his mouth, gnawing on it. He really had a bad habit. He leaned back against the chain link fence, burying his hands into his sleek, yet stylish, black sweatpants the silky like fabric sliding against his thigh comfortably. He glanced at his watch in boredom, idly scratching his chest through the black t-shirt he'd slid on today, still chewing on his whistle.

"Ooooh…kinky…you can blow _my_ whistle..." A voice purred to his left. Itachi glanced over to see a boy hardly over 13 by the looks of it. The child had long red hair framing his girlish face, said hair trailing down over his shoulders in two, loose, pigtailish, not to mention messy, braids. Dark whisker marks, most likely tattoos, ran across his cheeks, three on each side. The boy was dress in a black tank top with a hood and white, cream-colored jeans.

"…In case you didn't know, this is a high school. I'm a teacher here and the middle school is down the street…" Itachi stated, eyes never leaving those big red orbs that belonged to the kid. They were filled to the brim with mischief.

And lust.

"Oh, I know." The boy purred. Itachi sweatdropped.

"What are you a fox?" he asked, eyeing the boy.

"Well some people consider me a tiger in be-" the red head was abruptly cut off by a smack upside the head.

"Uzumaki Kyuubi, stop seducing your gym teacher." An older boy with longish dirty blonde hair and dark circles around his golden eyes, rolled his eyes when Kyuubi snapped back.

"Fuck you, Shuukaku, you man whore." Shuukaku lifted a brow.

"And you aren't?" he asked, amused.

"I never said that…" Kyuubi replied, glaring at the teen. Shuukaku was clad in a red tank underneath a black zip up hoody and denim jeans.

Shuukaku snorted, turning to look at Itachi. "Hello Uchiha-sensei…" he greeted.

Itachi tensed at the 's' word. If this guys was a new student… his gazed slid over to Kyuubi, currently batting long eyelashes at him demurringly.

'…_Ah, shit.'_

"My name's Shuukaku, just Shuukaku…" he repeated at Itachi's raised brow "I'm a sophomore here, And this is my cousin, Uzumaki Kyuubi, he's a freshman. We're new students here and were told to come outside to your class."

Itachi took a deep breath, processing all this, mainly the fact that he was slightly off in Kyuubi's age. He nodded "Alright…where are your gym clothes?" he asked.

Shuukaku opened his mouth, but Kyuubi beat him to the punch.

"I thought men liked it when their lovers didn't where anything skimpy, it ruins the surprise " he replied, strutting up to the brunette and leaning against the gym teacher enough to brush against his chest, staring up into sexy, very sexy, black eyes.

Though it was a long way up considering the fact Kyuubi only reached up to Itachi's mid chest.

Itachi sighed, pushing the red head away gently, but firmly. "If you're not dressed, then you take zeroes." He stated bluntly. Shuukaku cut in.

"But we're new here, we couldn't buy any!" he complained, snapping him mouth shut at the cold look Itachi gave him.

"A zero. And if you" he directed this part at Kyuubi "still have any feelings for me, I'm straight as a board, and definitely not into pedophilia." He left the two stunned boys behind as he went to address his class. Kyuubi was the first to respond.

"Straight as a board my ass, try straight as a rainbow-colored circled." He muttered, scuffing the ground with his shoes. Shuukaku turned to stare at him.

"Kyuubi…" he stated softly.

"I mean look at him! He's tall, dark and clearly related to that sex god. Madara!" Kyuubi whined. "And that geezer had no problem approving my transfer here along with Naru-chan in exchange for a few rounds!" he snapped bitterly, crossing his arms and settling down on the ground with a 'Hmph!'

Shuukaku sighed, sitting down as well. "Y'know… not all hot guys are gay…" he stated, glancing over at Kyuubi, he red head glared bitterly at Itachi's fine ass.

"Most of them are!" he retorted, and I know that guy's gay! And I'm going to get in his pants no matter what!" he declared.

"Don't you mean get him in your pants, Miss Uke?" Shuukaku snickered.

"…Fuck you, man."

"Incest!" Shukaku sing-sang.

* * *

"Soo…Uchiha-sensei " a blonde man with a long bang giggled, imitating a certain red-haired stalker. "Wanna do it?" the staff room erupted into a chorus of laughter.

Itachi glared coldly at him from his stack of papers waiting to be graded, before growling out "Sasori, your fuck toy's hitting on me." He glanced over at the redheaded art teacher, who signed.

"Deidara, come." The blonde turned, glaring playfully at the redhead.

"But Sasori-danna! Why!?" he whined, never-the-less the student teacher trotted over into Sasori's lap.

Sasori pat the blonde on the head. "Good boy." He glanced over at a silently fuming Itachi. "What _are_ you going to do about Kyuubi-kun?" he asked, Deidara laughed.

"Seriously! Just take him! It's not like he isn't asking for it!" he snorted.

Itachi felt his eye twitch "It's still illegal." He snapped back.

"Ooooh… someone's been thinking about it..?" a man with dyed blue hair smirked "You could just tell him you're dating me, Itachi-san." He suggested.

"Thanks, Kisame, but I'd rather fuck the kid." This reply was met with another chorus of laughter.

Kisame sulked "I was just being nice…" he huffed, returning to his paper grading.

"Well" a new voice spoke up "he's a more than capable student…" Itachi glanced over at the heavily pierced man in a corner of the room with his blue-haired secretary.

"…With all due respect, sir…he's a kid…" Itachi repeated, frowning at the principal. What didn't these guys understand?

"Who's one of the top ranked kids in the school, with the exception of gym class…" Pein added, raising a brow. "Itachi…are you failing him on purpose?"

Itachi shrugged "He doesn't dress for class." He replied, boredly.

"Speaking of gym class, why the hell are you grading papers?" Deidara asked, pointing at the stack.

"They're English BCR's given out by the state to the middle school students, their teacher, Kakashi-san, asked me to grade them 'to prevent bias'." He replied.

"That's bullshit." Kisame stated bluntly.

"Well, my little brother's in his class." Itachi added, leafing through the papers for Sasuke's.

"Ah, yes, that fine piece of as-" There was a sudden crash as a lounge chair hit a surprised Kisame on the head, knocking him over.

"Konan, please remind yourself to wipe down the scene before Homicide gets here." Pein stated, standing up and brushing off his suit before leaving to avoid having any part of this. Konan jotted down a quick memo before following.

"Shit! Sasori-danna!"

"YOU MOTHER-FUCKING _SHARK __**RAPIST**_."

"Deidara! Grab him!"

"Are you nuts?!"

"Mo-mommy!"

"…Wow…" The three teachers (Kisame was already unconscious) looked up to see Kyuubi standing in the doorway.

Itachi felt a headache building "Out." He snapped. Kyuubi frowned, crossing his arms and pouting childishly.

"No."

"Out."

"Why?"

"Out."

"Kakashi told me to come pick up the papers!"

"Out."

"I'll call the cops!"

"Out."

"You're so difficult!"

Itachi sighed in relief when the door slammed shut, he turned back to a bloody Kisame. "It's time to call Sea World."

* * *

Surprisingly, Kyuubi had been somewhat…good…in the past few days. He dressed for gym, did surprisingly excellent in the sports section of the class, but refused to so much as even spare Itachi a glance.

Itachi was getting angrier by the minute, not because of Kyuubi's disrespect, but because of the fact he missed the old, stalkerish Kyuubi.

That's what was pissing him off…royally.

"Good job today." He told the redhead, who didn't even seem to hear him. Itachi felt something snap in his sub-conscious. "Uzumaki Kyuubi." He grit out "Will be helping me put away the equipment."

Kyuubi glanced at Itachi for the first time in several days. "…Excuse me?" he asked blankly. Itachi ignored the unspoken question.

"Go gather up the cones, run." He added, when Kyuubi began to walk. The red head glared at him before breaking into a run.

Itachi watched him gather up the cones and return to stand in front of him.

Kyuubi wordlessly held the cones out to him, but once again Itachi ignored him and turned around and began to walk away. Kyuubi blinked in surprise before looking at the cones and sighing as he ran after the brunette.

Itachi led the redhead to the equipment shed and unlocked the door before walking inside.

Kyuubi eyed the shack warily before glancing at the cones and sighing again as he entered the shed.

He jumped in shock when the door to the shed slammed close, the only light coming from the dingy light bulb over his head.

"Now…" a voice behind him growled out. Kyuubi spun around, staring wide-eyed at Itachi, who advanced towards him slowly.

In a moment of panic, Kyuubi threw the cones at a surprised Itachi before making a break for the door. He yanked at the handle uselessly, crying out when Itachi wrapped his arms around him, picking him up at the waist.

"Kyah!"

"Didn't you want to do this?" Itachi amusedly asked, setting Kyuubi down in a bed of pennies (those jerseys you wear in gym class that reek;;;;) Kyuubi wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Not like this…" he admitted, gasping when Itachi pressed his lips against his, the brunette slid his tongue in, playing with Kyuubi's, smirking mentally as the redhead eagerly (and sloppily) kissed him back, wrapping his arms around Itachi neck, pulling him closer. He let Kyuubi play with his tongue while his fingers slid down to the boy's shorts, running gently over the half-erect, clothed member. Kyuubi squealed into his mouth, pushing him away.

"N-no! I-I mean…" Kyuubi stuttered, pulling his knees to his chest, blushing like a strawberry. Itachi grinned at him coyly.

"My, my, shy aren't we?" he snickered uncharacteristically, but hey, this was hilarious. Kyuubi glared fiercely at him.

"Pervert."

"You like it…" Itachi replied, continuing to run his fingers over Kyuubi's flat stomach. The red head shifted uncomfortably in the Uchiha's hands. Itachi glanced up at the unsure face. "We don't have to do this…" he stated, stroking the nervous boy's face. "I'm perfectly fine as long as you cling to me every now and then." He added.

Kyuubi shook his head "It's supposed to feel really good…" he glanced at Itachi for confirmation. Itachi smirked.

"It does." He ran his hand Kyuubi's back suggestively, causing Kyuubi to spew out his next lines.

"ButwhatifIgetanSTDorenduppregnant?!" Kyuubi squeaked.

"Repeat that, slowly." Kyuubi took a deep breath.

"But what if I get a STD or end up pregnant?!" he whined, staring at Itachi.

The Uchiha sweatdropped "First off, do I look like have an STD?" Kyuubi shook his head "Good. Next, you're _male_. Boys don't have children." Itachi stated as though talking to a two year old.

"But you never know! Especially when you eat at a place like McDonald's!" Kyuubi wailed, burying his face into his hands. "What if you leave me alone with the baby!? Sob, sob…" Itachi rolled his eyes at the red head's actions.

"Kyuubi, you won't get pregnant…" Itachi blinked in surprise when Kyuubi glared at him through the tears.

"So I'm just a one-time fling for you?! What if I do get preggers, you barbarian!?" Kyuubi wailed, Itachi sighed, kissing the crying redhead.

"Kyuubi, you have my word, this won't be a simple one-time fling. I'm not that kind of person, you trust me right?" Kyuubi glanced at Itachi's kind face and blushed.

"I-I guess…" he muttered, lowering his eyes. Itachi smirked before abruptly yanking Kyuubi's shorts (and boxers) to his knees. "Kyah!" the redhead squealed, grasping at the clothing, trying to pull it back up.

"You can't have sex with your clothes on." Itachi dryly stated, flipping a sputtering Kyuubi onto his stomach. Kyuubi gagged when he was met with the smell of the dirty pennies underneath him.

"Are you gonna wash these after this?" he asked shaking, moaning as Itachi's fingers danced teasingly over his skin.

"…No." Itachi replied bluntly, cutting of the redhead's retort by grabbing his cock. Kyuubi cried out, pleasure blurring his vision as Itachi stroked him slowly, teasingly.

"Ah..! Mm…" Kyuubi panted, thrusting his slim hips downwards into Itachi's grip, precum already wetting the brunette's hand. Itachi leaned down and began to nibble on Kyuubi's ear, chuckling at the whine he received when he took his hand away. "I-Itachi…" Kyuubi moaned breathlessly, eyes hazy in pleasure. "Why..? Itachi…" he whimpered.

Itachi smirked, flipping the startled red head onto his back, he glanced at his precum-covered hand and smirked.

"Nyah?! AH!" Kyuubi squealed when he felt Itachi's finger pressing at his anus. "W-wha?! Stop!" he protested, flailing his legs a little. Itachi leaned down to kiss the protesting red head.

"It won't hurt as much later, I promise." He comforted as he slid his finger deeper into Kyuubi's secret garden. Kyuubi gave a quiet sob, eyes tear up at the pain as he buried his face into the crook of Itachi's neck, sniffling.

"Itai…" he whimpered, back arching when he felt another finger enter him "T-take…take that one out! It's too much!" he begged, looking tear-eyed at his lover. Itachi kissed his forehead sweetly.

"Hush, I'm sorry, you need to relax a bit." He dance his tongue around and inside of Kyuubi's mouth, the redhead responded half-heartily, wincing when Itachi started to scissor his fingers inside of him. Kyuubi squirmed slightly, whining when Itachi grasped his hip with he free hand. "Knock that off." Itachi snapped, trying his best not to just drop his pants and fuck the boy underneath him senseless. Kyuubi was so tight. Itachi vaguely wondered if Kyuubi was a virgin, or if he hadn't gotten some in a while.

"It hurts!" Kyuubi whined. "Damn it! You're just being a sadistic jackass!" he snapped out in a moment of bravery. Itachi stared blankly at him, Kyuubi sweatdropped. "Umm…Sorry?"

Itachi muttered something under his breath before flipping the squeaking teen onto his chest, while managing to undo his pants at the same time.

Kyuubi screamed when something large, hard and hot was shoved into him.

"Ow! W-What the hell?!" he cried, thrashing out, but Itachi kept a firm grip on his hips, waiting for the redhead to adjust. "That hurt!" he snapped.

"Punishment." Itachi simply replied, grinding his hips against Kyuubi's ass.

"Ow! You sadist!" Kyuubi screeched, turning his head to glare at Itachi, the brunette only pulled back and thrust back into the shrieking redhead.

"Quiet, this place isn't sound proof." Itachi replied, amused. He wrapped his fingers back around Kyuubi's erection, earning a moan. The Uchiha smirked, rubbing his chest against Kyuubi's shivering back. "Is that better?" he panted into Kyuubi's ear, increasing his thrusting rapidly.

"Aha…" Kyuubi groaned, bucking back against Itachi's body. He almost collapsed in shock when Itachi hit a spot that made him see stars. "T-That..!" he begged.

Itachi smirked, thrusting back inside, hitting the redhead's prostrate. Kyuubi screamed in bliss, wreathing under Itachi panting harshly, his arms buckling underneath him.

Their scents mingled as Itachi thrusted rapidly into the redhead, Kyuubi twitched and moaned underneath him, crying out as he reached his orgasm, shuddering in the wonderful throws of pleasure. Itachi groaned deeply when he reached his peak, filling Kyuubi with his seed.

They lied there, panting in the aftermath, finally Kyuubi asked;

"What time is it?" Itachi glanced at his watch in a lazy manner.

"Eh, we've been here for about…half a hour?" Itachi lifted a brow when Kyuubi sat up, wincing.

"30 minutes?! I have Biology!" he scrambled about, pulling on his shorts and boxers. Itachi watched him, smirking when Kyuubi came back and pecked him on the lips. "Can you write me a late pass?" he asked, fluttering long eyelashes at Itachi in a seductive manner.

He squeaked when Itachi grabbed him by the back of his hair and yanked him forward, mashing their lips together. They kissed roughly, before Itachi let Kyuubi pull away. Itachi smirked at the annoyed look Kyuubi gave him.

"Wanna go again?" he asked.

* * *

Kyuubi smirked triumphantly at his baby brother. "Ha! I told you! I had sex with the Uchiha Itachi!" he purred, spinning around, before sharply stopping and wincing. Naruto lifted a brow.

"But I've been with Sasuke for a week now!" he complained.

"Have you done 'it'? Cause I'll kill him." Kyuubi added, hugging his brother protectively. Naruto blushed cutely.

"No…"

"Aw, you're such a cute virgin." Kyuubi cooed.

"Shut up! You used Daddy's 'Pregnancy Rant' to get some didn't you!"

"Uh no, it's called playing hard to get some, then locking yourself into an actual relationship by using the 'Pregnancy Rant', duh!" Kyuubi sighed, shrugging "Ah well, let's go, Itachi offered us a ride home!"

"Kyuu-nii, you're evil."

* * *

Sasuke stood smirking next to his older brother, Itachi, who seemed to have a sudden interest in discovering how badly a wall could hurt you, was banging his head repeatedly on hard surface.

Sasuke opened his mouth, but Itachi raised a hand, pausing in his head banging.

"Yes, I know. I was played into a relationship with someone 10 years younger than me, shut up." The head banging continued.

Sasuke lifted a brow "I was gonna say that they're coming this wa-" he was cut off when he was glomped by a blonde fur ball.

"Sasuke!" Naruto chirped, giggling childishly when the Uchiha kissed his nose sweetly.

"Halt, fiend!" Sasuke was abruptly smacked on the head by Kyuubi. "Don't touch my brother!" Kyuubi glanced over at a, still, head banging Itachi. "…Wow, he figured it out a hell of a lot faster then my other teachers…" he muttered.

Itachi felt very violent at the moment.

* * *

May: I have only one thing about that lemon scene. It's probably the closest there is to an actual lemon scene compared to my other works considering the fact that the bitch has to take a lot.

lolz, there you go. Eat up my kitties! –cackles like an old women- I hope the b-day girl and my reviewer liked it! Next Kiriban for mayday shall be 500!!

Btw, I hope you explain this to your gym teachers! They should wash the pennies damn it!

Review!


	3. Mayday 500th Review

May: In rewards of getting the position of my 500th reviewer on Mayday!

isrocks being that reviewer mind you, now, the pairing they've requested was ItaSasuNaru (with Uchihacest?!), making Naruto and Sasuke both the Ukes (where's Kyuubi in this?!) no side pairings (where's the fun in that?) and a possessive Itachi and Uke-ish Naruto and Sasuke (how am I supposed to do one of my Semes uke?!). Anyway, I was planning on using this idea for a story (but the last thing I need is another story up) however, if you guys think this is a good idea than tell me and I'll make it a story (NOT ItaSasuNaru)

It's not that May-chan rejects ItaSasuNaru, it's just…damn, she didn't think she'd ever need to write one…-sweatdrop-

* * *

"Hmmm…I know! I'll have the Strawberry Bubble Tea (1), please!" a pink-haired girl chirped, smiling seductively at the brunette behind the counter of Icha Icha Café. The girl was wearing a red halter top and white short shorts. "And you know Sasuke-kun, I could always pay you with something more than cash…" she purred, fluttering mascara blotched eyelashes at him.

"4 dollars and 86 cents, Sakura, and didn't we discuss this? I'm gay." Sasuke muttered. Hell, you'd have to be gay to be working in this…pink room. The walls were pink, the tables and chairs were black and pink, hell even the uniforms were pink. Sasuke eyes the pink dress shirt and black slacks on his body coldly. Sasuke shuddered when Sakura winked at him, sliding the money and her phone number on a piece of paper in lipstick. He calmly threw the phone number onto the ground before tossing the money into the register and pulling out the change. "Here." He muttered, about to slam the money onto the table. But Sakura was quicker and latched onto his hand with both of hers.

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun!" she purred, sliding her lotion slick fingers against Sasuke's skin. His _skin_, his once flawless, now marred, _skin_!

In less than a second, Sasuke's hand was free from the pink bitch's grasp and a clear liquid container with a pink, thick substance in it was on the counter in between the two.

Uchiha Itachi rested his head on top of a blushing Sasuke's head, glaring calmly at Sakura.

"Miss, I advise you to hurry up and drink your tea before it gets warm." (A/N: wtf?) He drawled, his voice clearly translating to 'Get the fuck out' in the language of 'He's mine, bitch.'

"T-thank you!" Sakura sputtered, backing away, taking a sip of the tea. Itachi smirked cruelly at her and Sakura stared at him, then the drink, in horror, before running out the door of the Café, most likely to a hospital.

Sasuke stared after her for a bit before looking up at his brother. "…You didn't really poison her, right?" he asked, staring at his brother owlishly. Itachi rolled his eyes.

"She deserves it." He replied, backing away at returning to his station at the drinks and teas.

"Aniki!" Sasuke sputtered, looking at him in shock. Itachi rolled his eyes.

"But I didn't poison it." He added, Sasuke signed in relief.

"You shouldn't try to get yourself thrown in jail." Sasuke muttered. "Naru-chan and I would be lonely." Itachi smirked.

"Ita-nii! Sasu-chan!" Itachi blinked as his was pounced on by a flour covered blonde, fresh out of the pastry kitchen. "I heard Sakura came back! Did she hurt Sasu-chan?!" Naruto looked frantically at the two of them before pouncing on Sasuke. "Sasu-chan, are you alright?! Huh!?" The blonde was dressed in the female employee uniform, a pink frilly skirt and a white apron that really didn't help the blonde currently covered in flour from head to toe.

"I'm fine…it touched me though." Sasuke pointed at the contaminated hand. Naruto gasped, quickly running of to the ice machine in Itachi's corner and grabbing two pieces of ice in his hand and rubbing them together before running back over to Sasuke and taking out a container of salt from his pocket, sprinkling some onto his hands before rubbing the salt onto Sasuke's hands.

Both Itachi and Sasuke watched the blonde do this silently.

"…Naru-chan? Why are you salting my little brother?" Itachi asked, leaning over the shorter blonde to study his work.

"When you're bitten by mosquitoes you put salt on the bite to make it stop itching." (TRUE FACT!) Naruto huffed, planting his hands on his hips as he studied Sasuke's now salted hand. "Now, I have to go finish decorating that White chocolate Macadamia Caramel Cheesecake before we close, it needs to cool in the fridge overnight!" Naruto chirped, running back into the wild animal den known as the kitchen.

Sasuke sighed, examining his hand before looking outside through the clear doors for more customers. Itachi rested back against the counter in a bored manner, studying is brother silently. Sasuke glanced over at his older brother.

"…What?" Sasuke asked. Itachi smirked.

"Do I need a reason to stare at you?" the older Uchiha asked, turning his body completely to look at his younger brother. Sasuke blushed, examining his salted hand with sudden interest.

"Well, no…" he replied quietly, eeping when he felt Itachi press his body against his. "A-aniki!" he squealed.

"Otouto…" Itachi purred, tracing his lips down Sasuke's face towards his lips.

"Hey! Sasu-chan! That's not fair!" Naruto cried from the kitchen window. "You get Ita-nii here _and_ at home! I only get to see him a few hours a day after school! It's not fair!" Naruto whined, disappearing back into the kitchen to go sulk. Itachi rolled his eyes, hoisting a squeaking Sasuke up over his shoulder and walking into the kitchen.

A sulking Naruto eeped when he saw Itachi in the doorway with Sasuke over his shoulder.

That meant only one thing…

**Attention, the following paragraphs contains BL, yaoi, Boy Luvs and anything else you guys wanna call it. If your parental unit is nearby, close the screen, if your non-yaoi friend is next to you, CONVERT THEM! XD **

The blonde gulped as Itachi walked over and placed a shaking Sasuke on the ground next to him. The older brunette then walked over to the refrigerator and began rummaging inside of the machine before pulling out some whipped cream, one of the few sweet substances that Itachi tolerated for the interesting little fact he'd found out about it several years ago…

Sasuke and Naruto twitched when Itachi glanced back at them.

"…Strip." He stated as though it was oblivious. Naruto and Sasuke blushed before pulling at their own clothing. The sound of the whipped cream clinking on the counter in front of them brought their attention to Itachi once again. "Strip _each other_." The eldest Uchiha clarified, looking on in a bored manner.

Sasuke and Naruto blushed horribly before turning to each other obediently. Naruto began to unbutton Sasuke's dress shirt with shaky fingers while the younger brunette pulled the ties on Naruto's apron off. Sasuke slipped the dress shirt off his slim shoulders before successfully ridding Naruto of the white apron.

Itachi calmly watched as Naruto tugged Sasuke's shirt completely off his body while Sasuke worked on the buttons of Naruto's own. When the two teens had successfully rid each of their shirts and standing clad only in a skirt and pair of pants, respectively, did Itachi walked over to them.

The older Uchiha drifted calmly behind a blushing Sasuke and yanked his pants and boxers down in one rough jerk. The brunette stuttered out a cry and both the younger boys blushes worsened. Itachi smirked, reaching out from behind Sasuke and grabbing Naruto's arm, pulling the two boys against each other.

"Kiss." He ordered, Naruto and Sasuke brushed their lips against each other's, tongues shyly rubbing together. A squeal came from Naruto when Itachi jerked his skirt up, yanking the panties underneath down to his knees. Sasuke's face was redder than a fire truck at this point when Itachi nudged the two boys against the counter, reaching for the whipped cream.

The younger brunette mewled when his older brother began to suck softly on his ear lobe. Naruto gently leaned forward to continue kissing Sasuke gently.

Itachi gave the can of whipped cream a good shake before pulling Sasuke away from Naruto and spurting the white cream over the blonde's hips and thighs.

"Kyah!" Naruto cried out, squirming uncomfortably as the cream covered his half-erect penis. Sasuke stared at his brother in shock when Itachi calmly ordered:

"Lick it off." Sasuke looked at the cream-covered Naruto before looking back at his brother blankly.

"…Wha?" he asked. Itachi rolled his eyes, petting Sasuke on the back of his head before gently directing him to the sweet substance beginning to melt off the blonde lying down on the counter, watching the two of them curiously.

Sasuke licked a bit of dripping cream on Naruto's thigh, pulling back quickly when Naruto twitched. Glancing back at Itachi, Sasuke ran his tongue up Naruto's thigh, earning a high-pitched moan and an overly sweet taste in his mouth.

Itachi unbuckled his pants, revealing his erection with one hand, shaking the can of whipped cream with another, eyeing his little brother's ass calculatingly.

Sasuke was stopped in his job of cleaning off Naruto when Itachi abruptly grabbed his ass and pushed him forward until the younger Uchiha and Naruto were face to face, the cold cream slicking up their nether regions. Both the younger teens moaned when they felt their erections rubbing together, the heat from their bodies melting the cream even more.

Itachi parted Sasuke's ass cheeks before spurting the cream over his entrance. Sasuke moaned shrilly, bucking his hips forward, causing Naruto to moan loudly as well. Itachi smirked, placing his erection at Sasuke's entrance before shoving himself inside.

"Ahh!" Sasuke screamed, bucking his hips forward roughly, rubbing against Naruto even harder, earning louder moans.

Itachi grunted, sliding back out of his brother before thrusting back inside, he groaned. "Christ…" he muttered, bracing himself against the countertop. Sasuke shuddered underneath him, muttering softly, wrapping his arms around Naruto's quivering form. Itachi gripped the countertop tightly, thrusting in and out of Sasuke, causing moans to riser louder and more frequent from the two boys underneath him.

Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck, mewing as the younger Uchiha grinded against him, Sasuke buried his face into Naruto neck, moaning shrilly as his older brother fucked him deep.

Itachi slammed himself into Sasuke from behind repeatedly groaning. "Fuck…" he panted, licking his lips.

A loud cry from Naruto, who always didn't last long, alerted the first orgasm of the day. Itachi smirked, thrusting into Sasuke roughly, earning a high-pitched whine, that being the second orgasm, before groaning as Sasuke's insides tightened around him and he came into his younger brother.

The three lay panting one top of one another until a bell tingled in the doorway of the café.

"Um, hello? I'm here about a threat to a Miss Haruno Sakura's life?" an older males voice called out. Itachi smirked, straightening and sliding out of Sasuke, earning a soft groan from the younger brunette, before straightening out my appearance and turning to leave.

"Coming." He called out, leavin the kitchen, making sure to close the door behind him.

* * *

1) Boba, Bubble, whatev, it's good, though i prefer honeydew, lolz

May: Argh! Why did this take me so long to finish?! –sighs- well, it can't be helped.

I'm sorry isrocks! But, on a happier note, for those of you wanting to see what my Kyuubi-chan looks like, I just now posted a picture of my foxy on , lolz

Link: http:(/(/)may10baby(.)deviantart(.)com/art/Kyuubi-no-Kistune-Chibified-95884943 enjoy! (and the slower ones, remove the "()" kz? AND REVIEW


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